Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/18/2008
Posts: 1
Points: 3
Location: United States
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Hi. I just wanted to say that I was in prison for about 9 years for a drug felony, etc. My kids were 4 years old (twins). I really feel that I'm much worst than I was when I got in. Being in prison made me hard. I feel more like an animal than a human being sometimes because in prison you have to work with your animal instincts in order to survive. I haven't been able to turn off those animal instincts. I also feel like I don't have the sensitivity that I used to have, it's like I don't care about anything much anymore. And the worst part is that I'm not scared of going back to prison, which I should be. Isn't that what the purpose of going to prison was in the first place?
People, it's all a joke. You get locked up, you get out, you can't get a job, you break the law again, you go back to jail. You get the picture. I just hope that I don't live to much longer so that I can spare myself and my kids from the revolving door.
PEACE
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 11/23/2008
Posts: 1
Points: 3
Location: United States
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Wow! I understand the feeling of not caring. When you are disappointed by people, events and yourself... you lose connection with your caring side. After 9 years you have to start all over and think in those terms. The nation has changed in that we can not depend on anyone to employ us for 30 years. You have to think in terms of being an entrepreneur. I am sure there were fundamentals you used when dealing in the "illegal" drug industry. Use some of those same rules in a legal enterprise. Use them also in you personal life. We all know that you can only get connected with one or two real friends. Everyone else is watching and competing with you. Do not think that you and your twins would be better without you around. Life is spiritual not stuff. At the end of everyday ask yourself "How have I positively affected the people I encountered. Educated yourself, that is one thing no one can take from you. Seek you spiritual self.
Lunadaughter
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Member
Joined: 2/3/2009
Posts: 6
Points: 18
Location: United States
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Wow Youbetcha - When I tell you that while I may not be able to understand your frustration, I identify with it all TOO well. My oldest daughter's father has used the prison doors as a revoling door for him. Some of it has been on his own doing and a little of it has to do with the way the system is set up.
Life would not be better without you....... Life is so much stronger with you and even though I don't personally know you, I personally know your struggle. THE BEST business man is one that can run an illegal operation. I agree with lunadaughters - take that knowledge that helped you survive in the Fast lane and put it to the middle lane. It doesn't have to be the slow lane. EVERY child needs their father and mother, so know that even though you missed 9 years of your twins life, they still have you, even when you are feeling at your lowest, you are still there.
Pick something you truly LOVE to do and make it your own. May God bless you...
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